There's Advice, and then There's Common Sense- In Life, and In Law

I'm getting married in two days. I will not be posting anything new until August 19, when I get back from my honeymoon. However, I just thought I'd leave this thought until then:

I'm a young lawyer, and I don't have a lot of money. In fact, I've got a pretty substantially negative net worth. My soon-to-be wife is in a similar situation, but she is better off. Even so, I would be a rich man if I had a dollar for every time I heard the word "pre-nup" from people I have talked to about the wedding in the last two years or so.

The legal advice underlying such a word makes sense- I am likely to outearn my spouse in my career, and there is definitely some merit in protecting my financial well-being in the event of a divorce. However, legal advice is more than just looking at things from a self-centered standpoint: there are practical measures to consider. Namely, the fact that I don't really want to plan for the failure of my marriage before I start, and also the fact that, realistically, I am not likely to massively outearn my spouse for probably ten years. By that time, the rule in New Jersey will start to trend toward equitable distribution being right down the middle.

Also, trying to bring up a pre-nup in the context of a relationship is a powder keg. It's dangerous, it can hurt both sides, and it has been known to damage/end relationships. A lawyer asked about the possibility of putting together a pre-nup had better know those things, and (whether they like it or not) needs to play social worker for a little while and see whether it would actually be in the best interest of the person, spouse, and/or relationship to talk about it.

It's a little like calling a computer support phone line for help, especially if you're not wonderful with technology. The question you are asking is not indicative of the solution. At best, it might correspond to some of the symptoms. I feel like this with cars- "It's making this weird sound" is not the solution- it's just one way for a mechanic or any kind of troubleshooter to get to the symptoms and find the right problem.

I apologize if I am in fact constantly saying this, but I believe it strongly: the right way to help a client is holistically, and not by just doing exactly what a client says they need. The client often has no idea what they need.